I'm A Little Worried About Your Guarding, Because I Don't Think You're Smart Enough To Close Your Mouth When You Jump In

I went into my second semester of that year in a really good place.  I was now dating a really great guy, Josh, and my classes were extremely interesting.  I'd also made a friend in three of my classes, Ian, and had my other good friend, Mike, in another.  I had my surgery planned for reading week, and was hoping it would turn out well.

Josh and I progressed in our relationship extremely quickly.  I was shocked at how easy it was to talk about my health problems with him, because he really seemed to understand and sympathize with me.  We almost immediately began seeing each other daily, and told each other we loved each other in only two weeks.  Leading up to February, we even started talking about moving in together.  He'd lived in Vancouver previously, and so he was ready to leave his parents house again.  I'd never lived without my parents, and I knew that it was way too soon, but everything seemed right, so it was looking like a good idea.

One day I had to get an MRI on my shoulder, the MRI that would show my orthopedic surgeon exactly what he was going to have to deal with when he went in there.  Dad drove me to the hospital and went in to wait with me.  This MRI was a lot different; I needed to have dye in the joint so he could see exactly what was going to show up.  So we went it, and I changed into the hospital clothes and answers the zillions of questions to the MRI technician guy.  Then I went into the room where they were to insert the dye.  I really had no idea what was going to happen here, and am happy I didn't, because otherwise I'd have freaked out beforehand.  I laid down on the table, and the put a bunch of sterilizer over my left shoulder.  The doctor who got to deal with inserting the dye came in.  He was a pretty nice guy, very funny, which is always nice.  They put the freezing into my shoulder first, which involved a massive needle going into my shoulder, and local anesthetic being put in.  If you've ever gotten a needle put in your arm, it was kind of like that, but the needle was about a foot long and you couldn't look anywhere without seeing it.  After that, we started up the xray machine that would show him where the needle was the entire time.  I decided to stare at the room and chat with the man, so I only got to see tools when the guy lifted them high up (which did happen a couple of times).  I did get to see a few images of my shoulder with a giant needle going into the joint, which I considered making my Christmas card, but other than that it just looked like there was a huge hole in my shoulder that he was shoving needles in and out of, like a bunch of straws into a really thin glass.  My shoulder got filled up with dye, and it really did hurt.  Keep in mind, I still had raw bone in this shoulder, and there was needles bumping against it and foreign liquid caressing it.  Anyway, once that was over, we had to wait a little while, and then got the MRI.  On the way home, I told Dad that Josh and I were thinking of moving out, expecting a bit of anger.  Dad told me I just needed to think things through, and that he wouldn't be mad at me and loved me no matter what.  Best dad ever.

The MRI ended up showing a little tab on my bone, which could get caught and lock ever so often, and also a big bit of bone hovering around the joint, which would cause pain and a fun clicking noise.  The last thing I asked the doctor in the appointment before the surgery was "Can you give me the pictures from inside the joint?"

School was going great at this time!  I had told my teachers that I would be away for a little while, and they all really understood and were willing to help in any way I needed.  Ian and Mike both were very willing to help me with anything I missed or didn't understand while I was gone, which was really nice of them.  They're both VERY good people.

Work wasn't going so well at this time.  I was a Shift Leader at this time, and another Shift Leader decided to start telling everyone that because of my health problems, I couldn't save anyone and was unreliable.  This was a ridiculous statement; I've always been very careful about how much I can do, and if for some reason my health was bad enough to make saving someone difficult, I would ask someone to cover for me.  However, word got around and I looked like an unreliable idiot.  I ended up pulling the Shift Leader into the First Aid room and told him there was obviously some problem, and that if he felt that he should confirm it with me instead of telling everyone else about it.  I asked what he was concerned about and shot all the issues down.  However, he enjoyed being a massive drama queen and continued to spread the lie.  This got me very upset, as I really liked working there.  I was a good lifeguard, and it hurt me to think that people thought otherwise.  Since then, I've vowed to not work in a place that was primarily women and catty men, as it seems to cause problems, and I'm an easy target.  Being a computer scientist, this is going to be a pretty easy vow to keep, kind of like vowing to breathe.  The place I work in now is amazing, full of supportive and fun people (all men!) and I don't really ever want to leave.  Anyway, I digress.  I had my leave time planned with my boss for when I was going to get surgery.  I wanted to be back pretty soon, as soon as I could, because I did like it, and I needed the money.  Everything was working out quite well.

I went into the start of reading week feeling very confident that things would turn out like they should.  I felt like I'd have enough bad luck, and it was about time things went my way.

Why Are You Following Me?

A few days after I got off my crutches, I got to graduate.  The Jubilee was under construction, so we got to graduate in the gym of the University.  Our whole graduation (ceremony, reception, aftergrad party) was on the same day.  I wore a blue dress with a jacket over it I think, and these really cute flip flops that had a little bow on them (flats, because I wasn't allowed to wear heels yet).  I was looking like a weird upper body builder who forgot she had legs, because my arms were ripped and my legs were tiny stick legs, so I didn't really care what I looked like.  I hated high school anyway at this point, and didn't mind that I was probably never going to see any of the people again, so this wasn't special for me at all.

We got to the University, and we went through all the "oh my god, we're pretending to be friends, lets take a thousand pictures that we'll never look at again because we're pretending we like each other" thing.  We went through this pretty quickly, and I went back to hanging out with my parents and grandparents.  A little while into getting there, we got to go downstairs and get our gowns on, and then got a few more pictures of that.  Click click click.

Finally, we got to get all lined up to go into the gym.  I got to stand at the front of all the people, even though my last name starts with an N, because I was going to leave right away after.  We decided I probably wouldn't be able to sit there for the whole 3 hours without pain or discomfort, so we decided that was the best option.  We walked in, and I sat down in the chair beside my dad (he was there for me to hang onto while walking to and from the stage).  They went through a couple of speeches, and then the first round of diplomas were given out, which included me.  Dad walked me up, then went around the back to the other side of the stage.  The guy read out my name, and I walked over to shake the people's hand and get it.  The picture of this is actually really funny, our principle had to lean down really far to reach my hand (because I'm only about 2 feet tall), and my face is white like a sheet because I'm already getting dizzy.  Then I walked to the end of the stage and down the stairs, where Dad was waiting.  We walked down the aisle and out the back door, giggling because we got to leave early.  Then we turned around, and saw that the next person had followed us!  I was like "what are you doing! You're supposed to go sit down!" and he was like "Oh!" and ran back into the gym.  It was hilarious.

So then we handed the gown back in and met up with my mom and grandparents, and we went to Boston Pizza.  We had a niiiice lunch while all my classmates sat in the warm, stuffy gym listening to boring speeches.  Then we went back to my house and got ready for the reception.  Once I got dressed up, we took a couple of pictures in the living room, and then all went out back for a beer.

I had on a blue dress that hooked up in the back (so I wouldn't trip on it while I walked backwards, apparently), and black gloves, and a rhinestoned top hat. I also had on a bunch of jewelry that used to be my great nana's.  I brought my Mom, my Dad, Kyle, Kyle's girlfriend at the time, and my boyfriend.  Our goal was to fill up 90% of the table (succeeded!)  Se we all had a beer together, and then all jumped in the jeep (someone else had to have driven...maybe we took Garth the van? Oh well) and went to the Telus Convention Centre.  I don't remember much about when we got there...probably because it was so uneventful.  For some reason when we went in, we all went in a big line and walked around the room, as if no one had ever seen us before.  Then we stood there for a couple minutes, extremely awkwardly, and then all sat down at our tables.  While we ate our terrible meal, a "slideshow" went up on the screen, which was literally just our pictures out of order to a lame song, and it was on repeat.  It sucked.  I hope the guys who made it didn't get a job making slideshows.  After the meal, my boyfriend told me that he'd brought rum, so we drank some of that.  Then we danced for about three songs, and we went home.

After that, my boyfriend and I got ready for the aftergrad.  This literally involved a change of clothes, and another beer.  Then Dad drove us to the aftergrad.  I was still 17 so my 18 year old boyfriend got a wristband and I did not.  We danced a bit and hung out with some people (his friend, who's now a cop, was also there, feeding beer to his 17 year old girlfriend through their mouths...it's as gross as it sounds).  Then, one of my friends who know the owner got me a band, so I had one beer, and then danced the night away.

That was the last time I saw most of the people from high school.  I went back only one day, to pick up my yearbook, and I snuck in and out so I wouldn't see anyone.

Kickstart My Heart....Not What You Think

Time went by pretty slowly for me for the next two months.  Mom would come downstairs at all hours of the night if I needed anything, like painkillers or a glass of water.  Have you ever tried to drink a glass of water while you're walking?  Now try it when you're using both hands to push your wheelchair.  Not so easy now, eh?!

During this time, I remember mostly Kyle's band coming over and jamming in the basement while I was rolling around upstairs.  I was happy, because it made me feel like I was out at a concert, something I missed while in my wheelchair.  At one point I asked Kyle if I could learn the bass while in my wheelchair, and we took the arms off the chair and put it on me.  That was when I realized I couldn't ever learn to play the bass because my hobbit arms were too short.

This was the point that The Sims really took a big part in my life.  Mom and I took one of my few trips out of the house to go to the mall to get an expansion pack.  We'd already spent my graduation money on a laptop for me because we realized that I wouldn't be able to do much else, so I was all pumped to put this expansion on it.  We rolled into Compusmart in Market Mall, got it, and came home.  I tried to install it and watched as the progress bar began to fill.  30%, 40%, 50%, 60%... and then it didn't move anymore.  It got stuck at 60%.  I was super upset, and already pretty exhausted from our previous outing, so Mom made me have a nap while she took it back and got a new one.  Well, that one did it too.  And so did the next.  Finally, Mom just returned it and went to EB Games.  That copy worked.  That's the reason I only get games from EB Games now.

I couldn't get upstairs to shower (except for one time, where Mom and Dad made a sling with their arms and lifted me up... I've been trying to get them to do it again ever since, but to no avail), so Mom and I had to go to my pool (because I was a lifeguard at this point) to shower.  So one day, Mom and I got ready to go out to this pool to shower.  We put the ramps out the back door (because it was less of a slope, and thus less likely that I would take out the person helping me down going 60km/h) and we got me down it.  Then, for some reason, Mom decided we would roll around the house at a full out run.  Did you know that wheelchairs have seat belts?  I found out why.  We hit a hole, and if I hadn't been holding on as hard as I was, I would have gone flying off my chair and shattered my hips.  Hilarious at the time, but now that I think about it, I'm pretty sure she was trying to kill me.  Well, you haven't succeeded yet Mom!

The only time that I remember negatively in this time had to do with my high school friends.  None had visited me in the hospital again, which sucked, but I had my boyfriend at the time so it wasn't so bad.  Well, they decided that they were all going to pile into a couple of cars after school one day to come and visit me while I was at home.  However, they failed to tell me about it.  Mom and I happened to be headed for Market Mall at this time, and it took me about a half an hour to get into my car.  So I got a phone call from one of them telling me they'd be there in about 10 minutes.  I was upset, because this was the first time they were visiting and if I managed to get back into the house in the allotted time, I'd be so tired already that'd I'd just fall asleep when they got there.  So I told them the truth: I wasn't home.  They got mad at me and decided it was my fault.  I hung up feeling pretty low.  I felt it was unfair that I already had so much troubles healthwise in my short little life, and now I was getting mega rejection from my friends because of it, even though neither of those things were my fault.  Mom cheered me up with a good ole' "buck up, buttercup" and we were on our way to the mall.

Two concerts happened while I was in my wheelchair: Velvet Revolver and Motley Crue.  They were two of my favourite bands, so I had to go.  My boyfriend and I got my handicapped placard and went off to the Saddledome.  The band's were awesome (at the VR concert, Kyle even got me Slash's cigarette <3 because he was in the front row, the place that I would also be had I been able to walk).  When we were at the Motley Crue concert, I had to go to the washroom, so I pushed myself into the women's.  As I was washing my hands, I heard someone go "hey, you can't be in here!"  I turn around, and there stands an extremely drunk Kyle.  There was a line for the men's room, so he came into the woman's (wearing his friends shoes, for some reason).  As the women in it started to get angry, I said "it's okay! He's my brother!" and everyone kind of went "ohhhh okay" and calmed down.

Another new thing we got during this time was our Jeep.  Mom and Dad's car at the time was the Opaz, which I was using whenever I could, and Kyle had Garth the van, so they needed a new vehicle.  They bring it home one day, and took me and Kyle outside to see it.  To get me into it, however, Dad had to lift me up from the chair and put me in the Jeep seat, because it was wayyyyyy too tall for me to transfer into.  It was a cool vehicle, and I got to claim the front passenger seat because it was easiest.

During this time, we thought it would be good for me to get my hair cut.  It would be hard getting me into my hairdressers house, so my hairdresser decided she was going to come to me.  She came and cut my hair in the middle of the kitchen, like Mom used to do when we lived in Ottawa.  It was really nice of her, and I'm super appreciative of it!  She's the best hairdresser I've ever met, so caring!!

The last awesome story I have about this time is when we went to Hys, this really high end restaurant.  I'm quite the steak fan, so I was immediately stoked to go.  We had a great time, and at the end they asked if we wanted deserts or speciality drinks.  My family all chose Spanish coffees or whatever, and I, being a tea lover and under 18, ordered a blueberry tea.  The waiter kind of looked at me, then at my parents, and then said okay and walked off.  Then he returned with Amaretto and Grand Marnier, poured them together, and told us to enjoy.  We all looked at each other.  None of us had heard of this, and I had successfully ordered alcohol underage because he didn't want to ask me for ID!  Too bad I wasn't a drinker.  I had it anyway though.

Coming to the end of the two months, I was healing pretty well.  I still couldn't put weight on my legs, but I was close!